AWAKENING….!!

By now Swadha and Kudrat were Message buddies. They use to exchange messages every half hour. And if the interval exceeds it causes the restlessness on the waiting side. Swadha who hardly was a tech savvy couldn’t keep hands off  from her phone. And Kudrat who was a tech freak now only uses the message app in his phone. The situation was mutual since their first exchange of message when Swadha was ill and absent from her office and Kudrat texted her to ask if he could text her.

It was one Saturday Swadha hadn’t replied any of Kudrat’s messages since Friday evening. Kudrat was certainly restless due to this sudden absence of beep tone on his Nokia 7670. He in his mind got worried and restless even angry sometimes “He thought he will talk tough to her when next time they meet, he would not even reply her messages, she didn’t even cared to reply a good morning”. Thoughts prevailed in his mind till the time he didn’t received a text from her “See me in my office post lunch around 2PM”. He felt impulsive. He wanted to write a rude reply he even typed few words to answer such a straight and dry message of hers after such a long interval. But he didn’t, he waited to meet her. By 2 PM he reached her office on first floor of SIFA building. A large room with see through glasses all the side and painting placed allover around the back of wall kept on floor resting towards wall. There were about 150 paintings in that room, work of best passed out artists of the institute. It was a virtue to see it. He sat down on the chair beside a table and waited for Swadha she came back from class and sat quite across the table. Her face was mysterious a kind of “something is going on in her mind” look on her face. And trust me such face is a remarkable alarm for a guy specially when the girl is wise and mature.

She stated with a statement “things are not normal” Kudrat wondered what the heck is going on. She said things are not normal between us Kudrat, Kudrat said “ I am normal you are normal what’s wrong. She then took a deep breath and started speaking “yesterday I met Vanraj (Vanraj is the guy Swadha is dating since last two years he is graphic designer and creative specialist, Kudrat is aware of his presence in Swadha’s life but for the first time they are actually talking about him) he just went across your messages in my Mobile phone while surfing through it generally and read all the messages in my box sent by you. You asking about my health, caring for my food, asking if I had tea, how is my headache, writing me a lullaby just because a told you am not feeling sleepy at night, telling me its full moon and I should see the moon its beautiful, asking me if I have reached home safely, telling me I am looking good with my open hairs, Blue kurti looks amazing on me, Canteen keeper tries to flirt with me I shouldn’t entertain him and you feel like breaking his nose and above all sending goodnight and good morning wishes everyday without a fail since last one and a half month. Vanraj didn’t find it normal, to him you are just another person from my workplace who is way younger to me just like my any other student. He didn’t find it normal at all, Kudrat’s face was flash red, he yelled in disgrace, he felt like it was a sudden awakening call, as they were sleeping and dreaming in wonderland till now. “so you are facing problems in your personal life due to me??” he said furiously “Its not you, you are not the problem its me, the thing which bothered him more was I replied each text of yours without a fail”, this bothered him more. Swadha said with a little higher pitch.“So your boyfriend or I guess even you don’t know what does it means to have good friends” his voice was cold and calm now. As if he doesn’t want to argue. Swadha leaned her back towards the chair and rested for few seconds while Kudrat kept on looking at her heavenly face with grimace and questions in his eyes. She then said “ Look Kudrat, if he felt things are not on a right track we have to see it, he never stopped me from talking to you or anybody, yesterday he just said that I should keep distance from you or else I will get hurt”. I just want you to understand my point of view. In fact my staff members and collogues and parents have also mentioned my excess involvement with my ringing device, but I don’t know why I didn’t realized it before”. Because you know that you are not doing anything wrong, you like talking to me we are good friends what’s wrong with that?? He ask her like a kid tone in his voice. “Don’t like talking to me, texting me, do you think its wrong”. Its not about right ot wrong Kudrat you need to understand, I am connected to few people in my life and Vanraj is one of them” . Am saying you not text me am just asking you limit things, habit and excess of anything is harmful. As soon as Swadha mentioned the world “love” is what she feels for Vanraj, Kudrat had a lightning in his mind, he felt everything collapsing around him, he wanted to shout louder and tell her what he feel for her, tears almost travel their distance to the edge of his eyes but he controlled them. Kudrat got from chair and kneel towards her from across the table and rested his hands on the corners. He said “am not a coward, am friend I don’t find anything bad in sharing my thoughts with you I will follow what you said but if you really think am wrong or things between us are wrong say me once and I will make things the way as if they never existed but if you think you are not wrong, we are not wrong”. I will text the way I did…. And to reply me is completely your call”, a peon entered to call her for director’s office. She got up in hurry looking towards watch and realizing that they discussed it for more than hour. Without saying much she left the room. Kudrat sat there for a while, he took out his cell phone and wrote, “ Sorry, between all this debate I forgot to ask you weather you had food?? And white seriously looks stunning on you”.. as soon as Swadha received the text she replied in the same pace. “yeh I had food and thanks for the compliment”. Both of them realized it’s really difficult to eradicate this habit so gradually, a small chuckle travelled through their faces and then they only exchanged smiley’s.

How wonderfully a text message can change your mode and focus, They both are experiencing it. They shared every small and big detail of daily happenings and it was just their way to say.. I was waiting for you and am here for you whenever you need me.

The Initial Talking…….

It has been mid of summer by now. The rowdy Delhi summers were smitten by the hot “Loo” and days were warmer than never before in the year. So were the feelings in Kudrat’s heart. It was his first assignment in his PR Company which coincidentally bumped into him the very day he met his lady luck or love, He brought in the work of exhibition for Sarvopalli Institute of Fine Arts popularly known as SIFA. Samar was equally enthusiastic for the work of exhibition because he was first time staging his work publicly. Kudrat being good at his attributes was in process of taking do’s and don’ts of the event and experiences of Swadha, as she was having altogether experience of 10 to 12 such exhibitions in her entire carrier of 6 years, this made easy for Kudrat to spend lot of time in company of Swadha if not in person then through telephone,. Once through a meeting between Swadha, Kudrat and Director of SIFA Mr. Raman Bhattacharya , a vibrant personality, man in his mid forties, great  smile and enthusiasm that could complex any youngster. Mr. Raman always adored Swadha as a very simple, sweet, Wise and hard working employee of his organization. During that meeting in between some documents Kudrat got a chance to run through resume of Swadha he quickly gave a glance to a three page long resume which counted about 11 different organizations which she has switched in 6 years and lot of free lance projects added to it. For the first time he discovered the exact age of Swadha and learned she is 4 years elder than him. But he just sighed if it could change his feelings and the way his heart, mind and body drifts when she is around. But now he has learned to control that revelation and kept himself normal. All he has to do was to avoid any kind of eye contact with her and strictly any kind of physical contact even touching of hands by mistake could ruin all his patience it wasn't any physical craving of sex appeal which derived him, But it was over whelming and not negligible. In short it wasn't normal!! it use to astonish him from foot to toe. And Kudrat could not stand any kind of notification from her side. It would made him nervous; Kudrat made it very obvious for her to understand that there is something wrong with him. But he never could understand why she doesn't say anything as if she doesn’t notices him at all. Though he always knew she dose. She was a big mystery to him.

It was Wednesday, Swadha and Kudrat were to attend a meeting with Manager at Indian International Center for finalizing the exhibition gallery. He reached out of her office around 2PM post lunch. He called up on her cell phone no body answered, then he rang up on her office land line a peon answered the phone and said “ Sawdha madam to aaj ayin nahe hain” (Swadha ma’m is not present  in office today). Kudrat got worried due to her sudden fade away. He never texted her before, for the first time he texted her.

Kudrat- “Ma’m can I text you”. that’s how the sweetest SMS story started between Kudrat and Swadha.  He in his mind thought that this is the most stupid thing he has ever texted to anybody in his life. Before that their telephonic conversations were quite professional. After around half hour he received a reply back from Swadha – “sure sure anytime”. Swadha always treated him like a junior moreover a kid she always tried maintaining that difference of age between Her and Kudrat which was almost negligible due to her sweet, short and charming personality which no doubt always complemented her presence beside Kudrat, Once walking out of the gate of institute the poor child beggar was hovering around both of them chirping like a bird “kuch dedo mai, Bhagwan apka Jodi salamat rakhey” (please give me some money, may god bless the couple) and Kudrat could easily recall the incident which brought a cute chuckle to his face a blood flushed out of her cheeks leaving them all red due to shyness.

IS THIS LOVE……??

Does it take a special kind of feeling to realize you are in love? Well my answer will be no. Feelings does not require realization all they require is just a moment in which you could feel that only feeling you ever wanted to feel (oh…yes its complicated). In practicality we can’t lean upon signals like- slow breeze brushing around your hairs, Lighting or thunder in the sky, rain all of sudden or any other sign which our heart perpetually wants to believe but it really doesn’t exist.

Our daily mundane life does not support too much fiction. In life of dust and dirt, profits and losses, sales and marketing, bearish and bullish… Love is either in bed or bullshit. What we denote bookish love “true romancing” guess does not exist anymore, All it happens sometimes when you have time either in some coffee shop waiting for your client, a silent ride on a metro while you are alone in the middle of crowd, driving alone your way back to home in your car, listening a song somewhere which reminds you of them and those special moments with them. That’s it, rest is still caught in as a layer of jam in between the bread and butter of life. But yes you do realize love around you when you are walking alone counting your footsteps, Listening to a song on radio which you dedicated them, when you are eating alone in your office cafeteria, you see the flower and you want to buy them but you don’t, you see something beautiful or something which really excites you like: a flight taking off, a rainbow across a metro track about twenty one feet above the ground or any other metropolitan landscape and immediately you want to share it with them, At night you are two peg down, And having a body ache more a heartache all you want is hug, caress and touch of that special one whom you believe does completes you, you don’t need anything more than them.

Kudrat “complex creature” who wasn’t able to keep himself from falling in love with another “complex creature” Swadha. And the best was that he strongly believed despite of all the differences of, cast, creed, age and beliefs that what set of feelings he is experiencing is exactly love or more than that. But his ego made him withdraw his feelings, butterflies in his stomach when their hands touch accidently, The rush he feels when their eyes meet, the longing and special kind of pain he has developed which was caused due to her absence.. and whenever he sees her it felt like a fairy tale. As they say “just in between of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale” Kudrat in his heart felt that the fairy is found now the tale has begun.

The First Touch..!!

He was all blank, walking towards encroachment area where number of paintings were displayed, but one big one right in the middle of the wall was beautiful, it pictured a girl caged behind the rib cage of human body as if the painting is saying that, though she is safe there, but yet there are things which she wants to see beyond that cage, the girl was extremely beautiful, and entire painting was done very skillfully, at the bottom he searched for the signatures .. it was small and simple, in a very  italic manner fonts were place above the line ending with a dot and signature read “Swadha”. Kudrat talking to himself said, only a beauty can produce such beautiful piece. The Ringing of bell interrupted his thoughts, all students started to walk around from their classes, he turned back towards lecture theater-1, he could now se her clearly, and notice her captivating walk which he thinks is absolutely gorgeous. She was walking towards him watching down the ground as if she was counting her footsteps ,Kudrat too got lost in her footsteps, suddenly foot steps stopped in a half crossed position, as Kudrat looked up he saw Samar walking towards Miss Swadha, they both together came and stood right beside Kudrat,

Swadha- “Samar you are doing a fabulous job, I hope we could display your piece of art in an upcoming international Exhibition cum auction at convention center.” You must have thought a name for it.

Samar- “am so glad madam, its all because of your guidance and motivation you give us, of course I am in process of giving a name to my painting and madam here is my man Kudrat Manikwala, I told about him the one from the PR firm who could help you in organizing this event.” “Kudrat’s heart just skipped a beat, she is standing so close to him, talking to him”. Kudrat was managing all his senses to listen and concentrate whatever she is saying rather than getting lost in her eyes, face, nose, voice Kudrat finds everything enchanting about her. He could only recall the words she said at the end of conversation before extending her hand for a shake hand gesture. Kudrat gathered his all courage to extend his hand and shake it with hers, somehow his fingers got numb, and his tongue fumbled, he didn’t even holed her hand properly, Swadha found it strange but didn’t mentioned anything. She greeted Kudrat like any other student just like summer only and left, while he was still fumbling completely lost in her touch, he could still feel the chill running through his spine. He never thought any such feeling really exists, till now he has only seen it in movies and read it in Shakespeare.

But somehow all those black and white words of Romeo and Juliet were appearing truth and all that love talks were coming alive. 

A New Kind Of Feeling...!!

“Wake up you Moron its time!! You got an interview to attend”.. Samar’s voice was screeching across Kudrat’s Head.. Wake up..!! Kudrat finally got up to get ready, after realizing it’s too late to Iron the shirt, he wore the crushed shirt and his fawn trousers. Samar got him coffee and cookies, he left for interview, while Samar stayed back to start after an hour as his classes were delayed. Kudrat at door step turned and asked “what time will you be reaching”, Samar said “after an hour or so”, why?  Nothing I just asked its nearby my office so I thought to drop down and we will head back together. Samar told him that’s not needed, but Kudrat pretending as if he didn’t hear, ran down the stairs. Interview went good, Kudrat with pleasant personality and great communication skills can win anybody, he knew job was all his left hand play.

After finishing off his interview he walked around half a mile to reach Samar’s institute, it was getting hot in Delhi, Kudrat was sweating like a pig, but his fair face was all red due to heat outside and little sweat drops wear shining like diamonds on his clean shaved face. As soon as he entered the premises institute, every girl turned around to see an angel dressed in formals he appeared like model ,those once in suit lines advertisements with messy hairs and raw looking formals. Kudrat for a while sat in reception area, Peon got him a glass of water, Receptionist asked him how can he help him, he said he is waiting for his friend who is a student here. In the back of his mind he was thinking is it actually the reason why he is here? Is he really waiting for Samar? Is it obvious to have such thoughts in your mind when you don’t know if you are being true to yourself? Kudrat got up to ask the direction towards restrooms. A peon escorted him towards restroom which was two lobbies ahead from the board of staff room. While walking towards restroom Kudrat’s eyes automatically turned towards the direction of a class room where he saw his angelic personality for whom his eyes were waiting, his heart was throbbing, his thoughts were longing. He didn’t stopped as he knew he was being escorted by the peon, after reaching his destination he told “thank you, bhaiya ji” to the peon, went in to get himself fresh and came back only to walk where his heart was taking him. Samar’s words were echoing in his mind in which he told him to stay away from Swadha. But this was a feeling which was beyond his control. And while fighting all that running in his mind he reached to stand at the window of the lecture hall -1, from where he could see his angel. He was thinking is it right to think all this for a person to whom he barely knows. Eventually girls are blessed with this sixth sense to realize if they are been observed by somebody in their surroundings. As if they could feel it on their skin. Swadha turned towards the window and this was their first  eye contact, for like ten seconds they stared at each other. And Swadha out of shyness or disgust looked away. And from that very moment Kudrat could feel himself as he has been spell bound by those beautiful eyes. He looked away and started walking towards encroachment area. With a sinking feeling in his heart. 

THOUGHTS PREVAILED..!!

What’s keeping him from food, Sleep, Rest and his Favorite pastime socializing in girls. He was completely restless and wasn’t able to figure out what is happening, A knock on the door brought him back from his virtual world of thoughts in which Swadha was making her own ways. He gathered his senses to open the door only to find tired Samar out of energy and bored. Kudrat was never as happy as to see him like he was today, Kudrat actually served water for Samar, and with full respect handed over him the glass, Samar with all horrors of surprises quoted “Oh my my… whats happening what do you want today…am not going to lie your parents about your bad health and ask for more money”.. Kudrat suddenly left the steel glass into Samar’s Lap, Samar Jumped like a Hydrophobic Dog… "Damn it you fuck… why did you do that”. Kudrat Frowned and went away to sit alone in balcony. Samar being a caring friend realized something is not right with him. Samar too went and stood beside Kudrat, Samar finally thought to break the ice “the final strokes in painting are as tiring and rendering what about your job”.. Kudrat with a sigh replied “I have an interview tomorrow at that PR firm beside your institute”, “wow that’s great , why aren’t you happy this calls for a kingfisher”.. but Kudrat din’t answered. Samar finally asked whats wrong can we talk, Kudrat felt a bit awkward but started “so you are enjoying your new college, what about that girl yelling over staff ?? was everything ok??” Samar with a bitchy smile looked at him pointing a finger…" you Casanova Kudrat Manikwala stay away from her by the radius of 10 mts. She is my instructor". Kudrat could measure the depth of respect Samar has for her, but rather than concentrating on Samar’s trait he applied his plan-B to knock down Information about her from his “chaddhi buddy” he knew how to manage him, he suddenly put up a face of complete ignorance and in a so husky voice said “dude give me a break…. I have a class, I just asked that why was she ranting and riling, she must be tough on you in your practice sessions?”, Samar caught into the bait and as expected by Kudrat , With a sudden grin on his face he said “oh no.. Miss Swadha is such a sweet darling person, she is everything what a good teacher should have, in fact everything a good person should have, her way of dealing the things is quite mature and she is very sensible” Kudrat in his heart was enjoying listening every bit of adjectives and cheesy lines what Samar was saying about her, Samar was on and on… Kudrat interrupted “ but I am sorry I don’t find her as good as your descriptions, She is so average looking : (in his he thought… she is most beautiful), she is just like any other girl (she is completely amazing), I found her anger inappropriate (her pink angry face is still in my eyes) and she dosen’t appears me that wise as you are saying (rather she is the most innocent creature I have seen), Samar shouted …What the fuck are you saying… (Kudrat doubted as if he over heard his thoughts), ok am not saying anything about her, Lets go and get our empty roaring tummies filled with some delicacies, over the food Samar went on talking about how Swadha manages that big strength and still nothing lefts out from her attention and so many etc things which Kudrat in his heart was recording like a recorder tape, But was pretending as if he is least bothered, even if in between Samar got deviated from the topic “Swadha”..Kudrat would just asked him and “what else is happening in your institute?” and Samar would get back to “Miss Swadha this, Miss Swadha that”… 

While Samar felt asleep, Kudrat was still lingering in thoughts what is happening to him, Samar’s description of all the good and nice about Swadha was echoing in his head and he was  pondering over those thoughts, He din’t even realized when he slept.

The ENCOUNTER..

They say life never turns out to be as expected, well in Kudrat’s case its practically true. Though he himself was the most unpredictable creature but his fate was far more better than his unpredictability. That’s how the most unpredictable encounter of his life happened when he was expecting any such thing would happen to him… His life is about to change…

Samar forgot to take his Paint brush kit in his final cut of completing the art piece for this month which would fetch him the certificate for next level in fine arts. So he called up Kudrat and after almost three times of call waiting Kudat responded his call and as soon he could start to tell the reason, Samar intruded and said “Do hell with your Girl-lo-logics I want my paint brush kit in half an hour” and then he hung up. Kudrat lazily without even bathing carried a dirty look with jeans; shirt and “kolahpuri chappals” went off to help his friend. Somehow he reached to the institute. There were fourteen departments he initially tried thorough, tried calling Samar but his phone was not in coverage area. So he enquired at Admin office, finally a peon knew Samar and told him to wait there while he reports Samar about Kudrat’s coming, Kudrat was having this habit of Using mirror even when he knew he is looking disaster. Abruptly he saw somebody walking through the door, he could feel the effervescence of her presence ,he could listen to each foot step she is captivating him, He couldn’t just stop looking at her. She was in paranoia, yelled at staff about unavailability of canvas while her assisters are about to start their final stroke. Soon the back ground faded and all he could concentrate was on her eyes so dazzling, immense and meaningful but yet he could sense something different in her eyes which made him look deeper in to them as if they are in search, they are incomplete…. waiting , he just couldn’t stop staring at her which made her uncomfortable for that moment but she is quite good at pretending, she din’t even let him know that he has been noticed too. Then she went off with question mark on her mind and A look on Kudrat’s face because for Kudrat it was astonishing that he was staring at any girl he hardly knew, Kudrat being a Casanova just has his own doctrine and one of them was “never stare a girl for more then ten seconds” while this was his anatomy of entire fifteen minutes when he was around her, he was helpless as he even noticed her sensuous walk and how she moves, how her legs cross each other right in front , it was perhaps the best walk he has seen, more of like a cat walk model with a little lesser height, and suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice from behind “Kaddu”.. (Samar called him “kaddu” :when he is irritated while parents and others call him pumpkin) where have you been I have been looking for you all over, he was still in thoughts what had happened to him in past fifteen minutes. He just Nodded and handed over the kit to Samar, then they just walked up to the hall Kudrat just wished His friend good luck and as he hugged him he could see the same enchanting face from about eight feet away from him, giving directions to people around and Swadha too noticed the same eyes staring over her again. He quickly looked away and left the place. He kept thinking about her all the time and getting restless while waiting for Samar to be back so that he can talk about it. He wasn’t even taking the calls of the “Bees”. All he knew it’s the first time in his life he experiencing anything like that.

Poor Kudrat you have to learn to be patient.